Sexual Assault

The University Counseling Center is staffed by trained professionals who can provide specialized support and assistance. Students may seek counseling at any time, whether it is days, months or years later. This confidential service is available to the victim and her or his friends who may need support in assisting a victim. Assistance is also available for individuals who are supporting someone through an incident of sexual assault.

Support Services for Victims of Rape and Sexual Assault at Notre Dame

What is Sexual Assault?

Sexual assault is defined as any unwanted sexual activity forced by one person on another, including, but not limited to: stranger rape, forced sodomy, acquaintance rape, date rape, marital rape, gang rape, child sexual abuse, and incest.

How to Support a Friend Who has been Sexually Assaulted

  1. Let her/him know you believe that she/he has been hurt.
  2. Listen to her/his story.
  3. Provide comfort, (i.e., What can I do for you that would help?).
  4. Let her/him know that you don’t think she/he was at fault.
  5. Let her/him know that you want to make sure that she/he feels safe that day and evening.
  6. Suggest to her/him that she/he contact professionals, (i.e., medical, psychological).
  7. Help her/him organize her/his thoughts but let her/him make the decisions.
  8. If you are her/his romantic partner assure her/him of your love. As her/his partner, let her/him be the pace setter in terms of physical expression of love.
  9. Ask yourself if your suggestions are meeting your needs more than hers/his.
  10. If you are struggling with anger, talk to someone about it, don’t unleash it on her/him.

How to Support a Friend Who has Been Accused

  1. Listen to him/her to show that you understand how he/she can be upset.
  2. Encourage him/her to be selective about who to tell this to and what he/she says about it (and the accuser).
  3. Encourage him/her not to make contact with the accuser or accusers’ close friends.
  4. Let him/her know that s/he is going to need support throughout this process (i.e., legal proceedings, his/her own understanding of what happened).
  5. Suggest that he/she get professional help, (i.e., legal counseling and/or psychological counseling if formal charges are brought up against him), and be prepared to refer him to someone.
  6. Encourage him/her to express his/her feelings (i.e., especially any feelings of regret or remorse) with someone who is bound to maintain confidentiality.
  7. Do not ask questions that imply you think he/she did anything wrong or conversely that suggest you want to be his/her “defending” or “prosecuting” attorney.
  8. If after he/she tells you his/her story he/she asks you what you think, (and you think he/she is being rightfully accused), let him/her know that you think he/she is going to need an experienced professional to help him. If you think he/she is being wrongfully accused, encourage him/her to go to the counseling center for support while he/she goes through what to him/her will feel like a victimizing process.

Make an appointment with a counselor at the University Counseling Center, either for yourself or to consult about how to help a friend.

Virtual Pamphlets on sexual assault written by other university counseling centers

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